ILMH Plays: Final Fantasy XIII-2

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ILMH Plays: Final Fantasy XIII-2

PostPosted by ILOVEMATTHARDY » Fri Feb 03, 2012 10:30 pm

Great news guys! I just picked up a new game and I am going to share my experiences in this very thread. A lot of this may not make sense, and will contain full spoilers for the game. But it will provide my thoughts into what I am playing.

First up is Final Fantasy XIII-2. To be fair, I never played XIII, so I know very very very very little about what's going on off the top, so bare with me if I make snap judgements on things.

First off, we start with a cut scene. So lemme recap what I saw.

Cutscene One:
Oh I could skip it, so I did. I have no idea what was on it.

Next up, I have a fancy horse!!! And I am shooting a bahumut thing? Sweet!

So done that epic battle. And my horse dies. Or goes away. I dunno. BYE HORSE! I'M GLAD WE BONDED!

This Caius guy does not seem to like me. And now we're fighting.

So after a pretty sweet interactive cutscene (Think CoD MW with more bitches with sword guns and Caius), I seemingly have dropped a city on him. Aaaaaaannnnnd cutscene.

Cutscene three:
Horse is back! And we just saved some guy who totally looks like a born again christian named Noel! I smell sexual tension! They should have an interactive cutscene wherein I flirt to gain reputation. And to look like a whore

What the hell is with Bahumut. I'm just here, chillin' with Noel, and then he's all like "ROAR!" And I am all like "AIIEEEEEE!" (I'm a girl.) Luckily. Horse is there and we tag team Bahamut like a pair of chinese fingercuffs.

Apparently, I need to find my sister. God damn this game is wordy. Women, right? Less talky talky, more sucky sucky, AMIRIGHTORWHAT! And I just summoned a Mog by doing something that David Blaine would do. Hey! I just gave Noel a crossbow! And Caius interrupts the party. Dick. Fortunately, I summon Horse, and we destroy everything. This game should just be called "A Girl and Her Horse", but I think there's already a porn named that. ANYWAYS. Cutscene done, hopefully I get to do someth.... FUCK ANOTHER CUTSCENE.

God damn it this bitch loves her sister, it's all she talks about. Like me and John Cena. Serah (the sister) is alive? And just survived what seemed to be a badass meteor shower!

HOLY FLIRKING SHNIT! I just pressed the A button to open a door! WHAT A GAME! Nice to have free movement, I guess it's a start.

So get this. You control Sister to leave her room. And she ends up in a post apocalyptic warzone where everything is paused! updates to come!
Ok. Everything is unpaused, I think, and now Sister is following some guy that looks like Paul Pheonix. Everyone is running from monsters and OH SNAP! Giant portal with a monster's upper half reaching out to kill! Let's shoot it!

Sister ends up in trouble, then Noel appears from NOWHERE and saves her. Then Sister and Noel team up to take on two bugs. I did not do well on this fight as I am paying more attention to this blog than the tutorial.

Now we're fighting things. More bugs. But the battle system is starting to make more sense. The goal is to get Crystogen. Sounds like a hormone of the future.

Onto cutscene!
Apparently Paul Pheonix's name is Gadot. On the other side of things, Noel just explained that Lightning (Bitch with the horse) sent Noel to save Sister.

Sister has some shitty inner monologue thing remembering and hoping that Lightning is alive and their lives together.

After some investigation, Paul Pheonix threatens Noel if Sister gets hurt. And more investigating. No one likes Noel here, it's pretty awesome. I hate born again Christians too.

Next up, we fight that monster that was coming out of the portal. I BARELY beat him. BUT I shall celebrate with Noel as we are indeed the champions.
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Re: ILMH Plays: Final Fantasy XIII-2

PostPosted by LegendKillerRAB » Sat Feb 04, 2012 12:29 am

I'll race you to see who can beat the game first......just kidding, we both know I'd win.

Game has been awesome so far. Here's the funniest thing in the game so far easily:

I could not stop laughing.
DBry 3:16 says YES! YES! YES!
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Re: ILMH Plays: Final Fantasy XIII-2

PostPosted by Longshot » Sat Feb 04, 2012 6:14 am

Best recap ever. I don't even feel like I need to play this as I live vicariously through you.
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